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ABBA MINISTRIES OF CANADA
IN THE SERVICE OF CHRIST...
ABBA PASTORS SHARE THEIR WISDOM
AND INSIGHT
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The Basics of Christian Counseling
by Reverend Thomas A. Secord
What exactly is Christian counseling? What is the difference between counsel and counseling, and who is qualified to do what? These are the first questions that arise when we think about Christian counseling. As a pastor, new or old, we must look at these questions honestly so that we can provide the best possible means of help to those that look to us for guidance; and they will look to us for guidance!
Before we look at the difference between Christian counseling and secular counseling, let us first decide whether or not we are qualified to offer counseling to those that come to us for help. Many believe that because they are a pastor or a church leader, that they are automatically qualified to offer Christian counseling. I would tend to disagree with this statement, but let it be known that there is much that one can offer in their position as a church leader. I believe that one in this position is quite capable, and should be resigned to offering solid Christian counsel to those in need; however I do not feel that they are automatically qualified to offer counseling to those that may need a little more than some basic guidance and whose troubles may stem from a deeper seated problem.
That then would lead us to look at the difference between counsel and counseling. To keep it simple, the major difference would be that counsel is typically a one time formal or non-formal talk with someone who has a situation or issue that they would like some advice on. The person is basically looking for someone respectable to bounce his or her thoughts and feelings off of. This is where the pastor can alleviate many problems that may otherwise have the potential to become major issues in one’s life.
A good example of this would be when a friend or a member of the church comes to you and asks if they can get your advice on something. Typically this would be advice on which direction they should pursue career wise, whether they should start a relationship with a certain person, or end the relationship that they are currently involved in. These are questions in which they are seeking counsel for. They require only our advice based on the fact that we might see things in a different perspective then they do. It may very well be in these circumstances that the person’s mind is already made up and they are simply looking for someone to agree with their decision, but we must remember that they came to us seeking guidance, and we must base our advice on what is correct in the eyes of God, and not only what they want to hear. We must also remember that it is not up to us whether or not they heed our advice, it is up to us only to give the best advice we can based on biblical principles.
As a pastor, we can direct those who seek our guidance to an honest, biblical solution to many of the counselee’s issues. If a person is struggling with the temptations of premarital sex for instance (a major temptation in today’s society), it is up to us as pastors to show the biblical reasoning behind avoiding those temptations, and more importantly, to teach why it is important to follow Christ in His teachings and His word. It is not enough to simply say to someone that they should avoid temptation because it says so in the bible. People must be taught as to why they should follow the Word, and they must be motivated to do so on their own accord. We as pastors are obligated to rise to this challenge and to teach and motivate all that come to us seeking counsel.
Being a pastor, or even as a Christian ourselves, we should offer up counsel based solely on the Word of God, as it is written in scripture. If we are to give counsel to anyone, in any situation, it should not be based on our own opinion, but instead be fully backed by the biblical principles laid forth in scripture. When people look to us for counsel, they are seeking solid advice and guidance, not opinions. This is what we can, and should offer as Christians and as pastors: solid biblical counsel, and nothing less. Now then, what of those that may require more than counsel? What does a pastor do when it is decided that one needs counseling beyond a simple talk, or when the persons issue seems that it may be more complex?
Often when we begin to talk with someone that says that they are only seeking advice on a particular matter, we quickly see that there is much more to the problem than meets the eye. Many times the one seeking our advice does not see the bigger picture and is blind to the fact that there are other issues involved that directly affect the current matter. As an outsider looking in, it is much easier for us to see these other factors and we should bring them to the attention of the counselee (one seeking counsel). It may be that when they are made aware of these underlying issues, that they can then see the current matter in the proper perspective and can base their decision on all the factors involved, thus making a wiser choice. However, it may also come to be that they are then forced to look at their lives in a new light, and see that they may require some further guidance so that they can make better choices in life on their own.
It is at these times that counsel can become counseling. Often a person’s issues are deeper seated or multi layered and can be more then the pastor bargained for. It is then that a good pastor will know his or her limits, and suggest that the person seek out a qualified Christian counselor to help them uncover the root of the problem and deal with all aspects of life, and not only the single issue that they may have come to you with. Counseling is a process of uncovering the deepest lying issues that are affecting the everyday judgment of a person, and dealing with the root causes so that they can go on to live a more productive life with the confidence of knowing that they have the ability to handle anything that comes their way. A qualified Christian counselor is not only taught to show the counselee their problems in a biblical aspect, but they are also well versed in the teachings of psychology both biblically, and in the secular sense. In short, they can offer a broader viewpoint and typically have a greater understanding as to why the counselee thinks and acts the way they do. Armed with this background, they can better bring the counselee to understanding their own thoughts and emotions, and provide them with the tools required to provoke change in the counselee. Counsel provides advice, counseling leads to change.
An addict that is trying to quit their addiction be it smoking, drugs, alcohol, gambling or the like, needs more than basic advice. They require complete change of their lifestyle, thought patterns and how they deal with their emotions. This is why addicts of any nature need counseling as opposed to only counsel. Advice alone stating that need to quit does not provoke the change necessary for them to remain freed from their addictions. Counseling teaches new methods and new principles to those that need to change. The Christian counselor works with his counselee, not only advising, but also teaching them along the way.
That leads us now to look at what Christian counseling can provide, and also how it differs from secular counseling. This can be a lengthy explanation, and can easily be an article on its own, so I will do my best to compress it and to only hit on the highlights of the issue. Without getting into counseling techniques too much, let me just state that Christian counseling revolves around biblical answers to man’s problems, where secular counseling looks to a person’s environment, and their physical means of dealing with and processing information. Christian counseling looks to God for solutions, secular counseling looks to man for solutions.
When we look to God for solutions to our problems, we get definite answers as to why we should act in a certain manner. Secular counseling is based on morals and also on how to cope with feelings and emotions. The Christian counselor takes the counselee to a deeper level, and shows why the person has those emotions and feelings in the first place. Once a person is aware of why they feel a certain way, they can then take action to change so that they no longer have to feel that emotion. Again then, to keep it short, Christian counseling offers solutions based on change, where secular counseling offers various means of coping with life.
Change is necessary if we want to be free from the strongholds of feelings and emotions in life. It is the job of the Christian counselor to promote change in his counselee. When pastors attempt to perform counseling which is beyond their professional means, the result is usually a lack of change in the counselee. This is not fair to the counselee, as without change, they will continue to live a life strangled and weighted down by chains of emotions. It is not fair, nor is it right to allow someone to continue in the misery of merely coping with life because we do not want to admit that we have limits as to what we can offer. This is not the Christian way, but sadly pride on the part of a pastor, has on many occasions held back counselee’s from getting the proper help that they require to get better. We as pastors should be confident enough to give solid counsel when required, yet humble enough to know when to pass that person on to one that is more qualified so that the best interest of that person can be maintained at all times.
